A Cruel Way
for when you feel alone
Alone I feel wrapped in the ways these prolonged, agonizing days won’t let me go won’t let me show anyone who cares my lover who dares not look, what piece He took of my aching and breaking art filled to ecstatic heart of your touch that never came why is this god-forsaken day the same as before I can’t even fall to the floor She’s too tired too weak too lost and meek and this time descent was cruel.
A descent is when we go under. We lose ourselves and forget. Forget who we are, forget that with every loss comes a rebirth, and forget that suffering is the pathway to peace.
A descent is inherently about soul forging.
Descent strips us of what we had, and gives us new jewels.
The very nature of descent is to feel disoriented, lost, confused. Sometimes annihilated.
What helps me the most when I feel this way, is simple ritual.
I light a candle. Every morning when I feel I am going through something hard, I just light a candle that sits on the coffee table in my living room. The purpose of this candle, and of this simple ritual of lighting it and letting it burn all day, is to honor and hold space for my descent. It marks a relationship that I have with my own experience of descent.
When I’m in the middle of a descent, I do not yet have the jewels. So, I light a candle and I hold on and I wait. I give myself grace and acceptance and understanding.
You deserve that too.
Love you so so so much,
Hunni Bloom
This is an original, unpublished poem by Hunni Bloom.
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