Describe an Old Story
about the way that you love that you feel ready to let go of
I love others before I loved myself.
I loved others so they could or would love me back. I gave love conditionally, to receive it.
I chose men who I thought needed love—the hurt men, the wounded men, the men devoid of life. I thought I could breathe them life.
I did this in exchange for their love and devotion, which they would or could never freely give.
When always and inevitably they did not love me, I chose to believe it was my fault. I felt unworthy. My story was that ‘I am unlovable.’
I didn’t want to believe this horrible story of pain and tears and dread, so I fought. I fought them. Told them they were wrong, they were lying, they were just afraid.
And I fought myself, refusing to accept the truth as it unfolded before me: they could not love me. Because I could not love me.
And so I chose the men who also did not, could not, love—themselves, or me.
I loved out of fear, and so I did not love at all.
It’s a full moon, which means we can see truth more easily. What truth do you see about yourself? What is an old story about the way that you love that you now feel ready to let go of?
Let’s talk about it.
